I had a volatile relationship with my mother. After 13 years old, I was in a constant fight for my autonomy from my mother, and she was a skilled defender of her control. I left her home at 16 and for the most part, we wouldn't speak again till after I had my first son at 27. I read those words I just wrote, and I think about what an oversimplification the words are of what actually happened. I also feel the loss of all of that wasted time. I used to say that my mother taught me what not to do as a parent. And that is true when it comes to unconditional love. My mother's love was viciously conditional for everyone in her life, but especially her children. Perspective has helped me understand why. My compassion for her and her life experience began once I had my own children. With therapy and time, it’s grown to a place of understanding and forgiveness. A place of peace. I can recognize all of the good things she instilled in me. It took a lot to get here, but I know my mom is a huge part of who I am today.
She died 12 years ago. While we were in each other's lives for a couple years before her death, we never really could get over our past together. We quite literally agreed to disagree and move on. But it never felt comfortable or easy with her. I have spent most of my life in awe of my friends who have close, loving relationships with their mothers. It is a mysterious dynamic to me and one that I have always longed for. It’s a feeling I hope to be creating with my own kids.
My kids are 16 and 14 years old now. I have carried fear of this stage my whole mothering life. For me, my teenage years were full of the unknown and the feeling of being alone, abandoned. This experience has shaped me into the person I am, the mom that I am. My kids know that I am their soft place to land. No matter what. Forever. I can see how my experience with my own mother instilled this in me. For all of these reasons, for me, Mother’s day has been a day of feeling conflicted for so long now. And this year is extra.
This year is extra for everyone with the weight of the coronavirus pandemic. So many can’t be with their moms today because of the risk and so many are becoming mothers during this risky time. As a lactation counselor and fellow mom, I worry about new moms. Motherhood can already be so isolating and the virus is amplifying this to the max. Finding ways to connect with other moms is vital always, but especially now. If you’re feeling low today, I understand. I hear you. I see you. Your feelings are real and valid. It’s ok. Together, we are going to be ok. Reach out if you are feeling alone. To a friend, a family member, to me. I am here for you if you need someone to listen. If this is your first Mother’s Day as a Mother, I’m sorry. I’m sorry we’ve got this public health crisis that’s putting a huge damper on your day. But more importantly, I'm sorry it's making your mothering experience a little more anxiety filled, a little more lonely. We are going to get through this. We are Moms. We find the depths of our strength when we become mothers. We find our grit. We also find how big our heart can be and how easily our compassion can flow. Becoming a mother helped to heal me. That is what I celebrate today. The healing that comes with love. It’s Mother’s Day. Happy or not, you are amazing. And if you don’t know that, let me be the one to tell you: YOU ARE AMAZING, MAMA! ~Sierra
]]>I have been a Certified Lactation Counselor for twelve years. During that time I have enjoyed helping thousands of mothers and babies meet their breastfeeding goals. Between my two children, I have 6 and a half years of personal nursing experience, and although it wasn’t always easy, I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments. It has helped me gain confidence in my parenting and I am grateful to have this eternal connection with my children.
The majority of new mothers initiate breastfeeding (nearly 76%), but the duration rates at 3 and 6 months are disheartening at best. Mothers discontinue breastfeeding for a variety of reasons; unfortunately, it’s most often due to a combination of misinformation and lack of support. Knowledge is power. Here is some useful information for getting started and staying with it.
The good news is that you are designed by nature to breastfeed! Less than 1% of women physically cannot nurse. That means that more than 99% can! A small percentage of those women may not produce a full supply, but any amount of breastmilk is extremely beneficial for both baby and mom. Pregnant mothers ask me all the time what they need to breastfeed their baby. Besides breasts and a baby, the most important things to have are good information, good support and the desire to do it!
In the beginning, you may feel like you do not have enough milk for your baby. You may even be told this while you are still in the hospital. The truth is, nature is no fool! Keep putting your baby to breast. Nothing stimulates milk production like skin-to-skin contact and nursing. The more frequently you nurse, the more milk you will make. Babies go through a number of growth spurts in the early months. You may find that your baby wants to nurse even every hour. This can feel intense and can be misperceived as mom not having enough milk. Keep nursing! Growth spurts increase babies frequency at breast and therefore increase milk supply but it can take a few days, so hang in there and your body will catch up! It works the other way too for oversupply. Keep nursing, follow your baby’s cues and your supply will regulate.
A baby’s stomach is the size of a small marble at birth. This is not by chance! Mom is producing colostrum or “early milk” when her baby is born. Colostrum is low in volume but high in nutrients and is all a newborn needs to thrive. Keep your baby skin-to-skin as much as possible. Let baby have unlimited access to the breast to minimize engorgement. Sometimes it can take up to a week for your mature milk to come in, especially if your baby was born early or via cesarean. The more you hold and nurse your baby, the faster your mature milk will come in. By day five, your baby’s stomach is the size of a shooter marble and by day ten it’s the size of your baby’s fist. Your baby is designed to take in small amounts very frequently and will continue this pattern for quite some time.
One the most important keys to a successful breastfeeding relationship is to find support. Most of us go through life without much exposure to breastfeeding until it’s our turn to nurse. If we experience challenges with nursing we may have no idea where to turn for help. Establishing a connection with a nursing support group and a provider of lactation services prior to delivering your baby may be the best way to ensure success. Knowing where to go for help and support before you’re in a difficult situation makes it that much easier to seek out that help when it’s needed. Kangaroo Kids offers a free Nursing Mothers Group every Thursday at 12:30 and Saturday at 10. We also offer prenatal and postnatal lactation consultations by appointment.
Watch the baby, not the clock. Your baby will tell you everything you need to know about when to feed. In the early weeks, increased moment is a feeding cue and it’s important to let your baby regulate your supply. If you hold baby off because “it’s not time” to feed, your milk supply can be damaged. The clock has no clue about when your baby is hungry so pay it no attention. Just relax and nurse!
You’ve trusted your body to conceive, grow, carry and birth your baby. Now it’s time to trust that your body can feed and nourish your baby as well. Your body is powerful, especially when it comes to providing for your child. There is a learning curve to breastfeeding for both mom and baby. This is true even if you’re nursing your second, third or fourth child. You can do this! If you have obstacles along the way, get help early and you can experience the bliss that nursing can provide.
Ideally, as the mother of a newborn, you should not worry about pumping until breastfeeding is well established. If there is a need to pump, then by all means, pump! But keep this in mind: The amount you are pumping is no indicator of how much milk you are producing. It also has nothing to do with how much milk baby is getting or should be getting. Pumping is a completely different ballgame. There are hormones at play here and one of them is called oxytocin or “the love hormone”. Oxytocin is what allows your milk to flow. Your baby stimulates this hormone by the initial quick sucking that happens just after latch on. Then the milk begins to flow and baby’s suck slows and deepens and swallowing ensues. We love our babies and just looking at them can get that oxytocin flowing. We do not love our pumps! So it can take time and practice to teach our bodies how to let down to a machine instead of our baby. The hormones caused by stress, anxiety, and pain can all inhibit milk flow. That’s why it’s important to relax while breastfeeding or pumping (I know, easier said than done!). Try not to stare down at every little drop flowing into those bottles! Take deep breaths, close your eyes, and think soothing thoughts; the calmer you feel, the more milk you’ll release.
Medical professionals are not educated or trained in lactation unless they have sought out that education separately from their medical curriculum. If you are experiencing challenges with breastfeeding, be sure to seek help from someone experienced and educated in lactation: a CLC (Certified Lactation Counselor), IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) or a La Leche League Leader.
While breastfeeding is not always easy, it is something you need never regret and may become one of your proudest achievements. When we make our way through difficult times we add the confidence of overcoming that experience to our arsenal of resources to draw on later. Almost all breastfeeding challenges can be overcome and you can do it! One of my favorite things about being a lactation counselor is watching a mother grow from being nervous and unsure to happy and confident. You have the power to persevere inside you and a little support can help draw it out.
How can you tell if your breastfed baby is getting enough? It would be easy if we had see-thru breasts with measurement markings! But seriously, you’ll know your baby is getting plenty if you’re changing 3-4+ quarter-sized poopy diapers in 24 hours (after day 4) and 5-6+ sopping wet diapers in 24 hours (after the first week). If baby is gaining weight well on mom’s milk alone, then baby is getting enough. It can be normal for baby to lose weight initially but should regain birth weight by two weeks (three weeks if born via cesarean). Average weight gain is 4-6 ounces per week after mom’s mature milk in is. Other positive signs include: After a feeding, mom’s breast feels softer and baby seems reasonably content. Baby is alert, active and meeting developmental milestones.
]]>Breastfeeding during the winter months is a very important thing you can do for your baby. There is a higher incidence of flu and respiratory illness as well as gastro intestinal illness during the winter months. Breast milk has immune properties in it and when the mother gets sick or is exposed to a specific illness, her milk begins to build up even more antibodies that are specific to fighting off that particular illness. We often get calls here at Kangaroo Kids asking whether a mom should continue to breastfeed her baby when she has a cold or the flu. The answer is YES YOU CAN! The baby has already been exposed to the illness and your milk will help fight off that infection. There are very few illnesses that require you to stop breastfeeding.
You can take acetaminophen or ibuprophen while breastfeeding. Decongestants and anti histamines are safe to take but be aware that they may cause a drop in your breast milk supply. Cough medicine such as Robitussin DM is safe to use. One natural remedy that I like to use (breast feeding or not!) is my netty pot. If you don’t already have one, go get one and make friends with it! It can take some practice (just like anything worthwhile), but it is so great for opening up those sinuses without drugs. Grapefruit seed extract and raw garlic cut into pill-size pieces and swallowed like a pill (Use a teaspoon of honey if you can’t hack the taste) are two of my other favorites for avoiding getting sick. I also get a garlic and vinegar tonic from Cheryl’s Herbs which is something you can add to soups and sauces or just drink it straight! When I am feeling a bit run down I also increase my probiotic intake and vitimin C. Cheryl’s Herbs also has this great Chinese Herbal tincture called Dragon Gallbladder Nose Pool. Now, I know this sounds kinda funny but it is incredibly effective for reducing mucus and it is not contraindicated for lactation.
In order to prevent illness, eat WELL and increase your fluid intake. Low indoor humidity during the winter can cause an increase in your fluid needs. Wash your hands before eating meals or snacks.
You can do this!
On a cold winter night there is something quite wonderful about cuddling up with your nursing baby:)
Happy Nursing, Sierra
]]>Come to Kangaroo Kids Nursing Mom’s Group and enjoy conversation with other nursing mamas about all things breastfeeding and more! This group is facilitated by a Lactation Specialist. The focus is mother-to-mother support: Ask a question, offer advice or just listen in. You’ll be glad you participated! Don’t worry if you’re running late…We are on baby time!
Thursdays at 12:30 pm
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